A client called not long ago to tell me her husband had died. We talked for a while about the funeral, and she told me she was doing about as well as anyone does in that first post-death week.
Then she mentioned the yellow legal pad on her kitchen table, filled with notes about bank accounts, car titles, and a dozen other things that had occurred to her since the memorial service.
“Where do I even start?” she asked.
Losing a spouse is overwhelming, and the legal and financial responsibilities that follow can feel just as daunting. If your spouse has recently passed away, knowing what to do first can help you avoid unnecessary stress and ensure important deadlines and benefits are not overlooked.
I hear some version of that question often. Grief doesn’t leave much room for logistics, and most people calling me at this time aren’t looking for a long-term plan. Instead they want to know what they need to do now, and in what order they need to do it.
Here’s the checklist I give people.
Start with the Death Certificate
Because you’ll need a certified death certificate for almost everything on this list, it’s the first task you should tackle.
The funeral home will order as many death certificates as you choose to purchase. I recommend ordering ten. Though most people only end up needing one or two, they are useful to have just in case. It is difficult to order additional copies as the order must be placed with Maryland’s Division of Vital Records and the agency’s turnaround time is quite slow. In addition family members often like to have one for their own records for future genealogy purposes.
Order more than you think you’ll need. The Motor Vehicle Administration (MVA) will want an original as will some insurance companies. Banks need to see the original and will return it. Other companies will now accept a faxed or emailed copy. But, it is not always possible to anticipate which company requires and original or a copy.
Copies cost $10 each, with same-day delivery if you request in person, or a wait of about six weeks or more if you request by mail.
Notify Social Security and Ask About Survivor Benefits
Social Security is old-fashioned – it only accepts death reports by phone or in person, and it won’t start a survivor benefit unless you specifically ask, no matter how the death was reported.
Your funeral home likely already handled the death report, but it’s worth confirming, since you’ll need to call Social Security anyway to ask about survivor benefits. If your spouse was the higher earner, the benefit you now qualify for could be larger than your own, so it’s worth confirming exactly what you’re due.
Easy to Miss. While you’re on the phone, ask about the one-time $255 lump-sum payment too. Social Security pays it to an eligible spouse, separate from the ongoing survivor benefit, but only if you request it.
Contact Pension Plans and Federal Benefits
A pension plan doesn’t get notified automatically the way Social Security often does through the funeral home.
You have to call the plan administrator directly and be ready to provide a certified death certificate, your spouse’s date of birth, Social Security number, and claim number. Whether payments continue to you, and at what percentage, depends on the survivor option your spouse chose at retirement.
If your spouse was a federal employee, contact the Office of Personnel Management if your spouse was retired, or your spouse’s employing agency if your spouse was still working. Either way, that call will start the survivor benefits process. You will need your spouse’s CSF or CSA number for best results.
Assets That Usually Transfer Without Probate
Several items on this list pass to you automatically under Maryland law the moment your spouse died.
Getting each one retitled in your name still takes some paperwork, but never a probate case.
The Car. A car titled jointly to both spouses transfers by taking the signed title and a certified death certificate to the MVA in person.
If the car was titled solely in your spouse’s name, Maryland still lets you skip probate for up to two vehicles, as long as you’re the only heir, you certify to the MVA that your spouse’s debts and taxes have been paid, and you provide proof of the marriage.
In each case, the MVA waives its usual title fee for a surviving spouse.
Bank Accounts. A joint bank account is usually yours by law the moment your spouse died. Wait to take any action on these accounts. As you may receive modest refund checks just in your deceased spouse’s name. And the bank will often let you continue depositing these into the joint account for several months after your spouse’s death.
Beneficiary Accounts. An account naming you as beneficiary, including a retirement account, an IRA, or a life insurance policy, can also be retitled by making a direct claim to the company holding it. Every company has its own retitling process, check websites, then call as needed to find out the exact steps you must take.
Insurance Policies to Review
Health Insurance. If you were covered under your spouse’s employer-sponsored health plan, Maryland law requires the group health contract to keep covering you for up to 18 months, at close to what the employer was already paying.
Federal COBRA may also apply, and where it does, it usually runs longer than Maryland’s 18 months, offering up to 36 months of coverage. Ask your spouse’s employer’s benefits office which one covers your situation, since the two laws don’t line up exactly.
Homeowners and Auto Insurance. Call the insurer, provide the death certificate, and ask them to remove your spouse’s name from the policy, so a future claim isn’t complicated by a policy that still lists someone who has died.
If the policy was only in your spouse’s name, expect the insurer to ask you to establish that you now own the property or the car before coverage continues.
Update Your Estate Plan
If you named your spouse as beneficiary on your own retirement accounts or life insurance policy, those designations need to be changed.
Your spouse was also probably named as your personal representative in your own will, your agent under a power of attorney, and your health care decision-maker under an advance directive. You will eventually need to update all of those documents to name someone else.
Before You Spend or Transfer Any Assets
Retitling a joint account or a beneficiary account, as described above, is just paperwork. Actually spending or transferring that money is a different matter, and it’s the one item on this list where I tell people to slow down and get professional help before acting.
Both a joint account and a beneficiary designation can be trickier than they look. Guess wrong, and you could “lose” money you assumed was yours, or miss a tax break you assumed would apply.
A joint account, for example, can turn out to be a “convenience account,” set up only so your spouse could pay bills on your behalf, in which case the money belongs to the estate, not to you. A beneficiary designation naming someone in addition to you, like an adult child, may not get the same tax treatment as one that names only a spouse.
The Bottom Line
This checklist won’t make the days after losing a spouse any easier. But it could turn that scattered list into something you can work through, and also tell you when to stop and get advice before going any further.